chewing ideas down to stubble, then moving on…

Weighing in on the choice of First Dog

Posted by Jason on November 21, 2008


Pick me, pick me!

Pick me, pick me!

Barack Obama should get a border collie, and I say this not just because I have one and I love her. First of all, let’s look at the facts from a purely superficial point of view. Most border collies have something in common with our new President-Elect: they are generally both black AND white! Does this make me racist or insensitive for bringing this up? Of course not; I’m merely being race-conscious here, people. Don’t freak out.

Let’s take this to a more intellectual level. Border collies are super-intelligent dogs, and they learn things incredibly fast, just like Barack Obama is going to have to do come January 20. While not generally known for their oratory skills, I’m sure that border collies would be at the top of their public speaking classes given the capability for intelligent speech. Pepper makes lots of weird grunty/squeaky/yodelly noises when she gets excited, does that count?

Now I’ll bring it to a sappy, symbolic level. Obama has been called to lead his flock out of some dark/stupid times in our country. Americans love to behave like sheep in our herd/mob mentalities, and we need a strong, intelligent, and thoughtful leader, which I feel we have elected. Could Barack be our shepherd? A large portion of this country thinks so… Also, border collies are not bred for looks (I’m not saying Obama’s ugly… keep reading, people). There are so many different types and colorings that one can hardly tell sometimes that two dogs standing next to each other are of the same breed. The one thing that these dogs are bred for is their abilities to work. The most important trait of any border collie is that he/she can get the job done. What better choice of dog breed to represent a hardworking president for a hardworking (traditionally, maybe not so much now) people?

I think this has pretty well sealed the deal: the Obamas should adopt a border collie.

If you don’t agree with me, well… YOUR DOG IS UGLY AND STUPID. Take that.


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