chewing ideas down to stubble, then moving on…

Domino’s Pizza From Your TiVo

Posted by Jason on December 2, 2008

When I first heard on NPR that TiVo users can now order Domino’s Pizza from their TV’s with a click of the remote control, my first thought was, “Mmmmm…pizza.” Never mind that it was 6:45am, but my second thought was, “Dude, that is badass!” I am a man after all. Anyway after the initial reflex man-thoughts passed from my brain, I got to thinking how truly awful this new development is.

NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES AMERICA!!! Our great country was built on the backs of men and women that worked tirelessly to better themselves and their brethren. America was synonymous with hard work and a go-getter attitude, even as late as the 1960’s. Great accomplishments include our incredible railroads and bridges, the introduction of the assembly line, our early successes at aircraft and automobiles, the victories in WWII, and even putting a man on the moon, not to mention all the mind-blowing weapons we’ve created to destroy anyone that pisses us off enough. What happened to us? Now we only care about great returns for no work. Reaping the rewards while someone else foots the bill, either in man-hours, money, or human lives. We fight for monetary security and forget the blessings of liberty for all. Our country was built on manual labor in the fields and factories and mines. Now we scoff and turn our noses up at anyone who has dirt under their fingernails…

When did we become a nation of fat, lazy, slobs? Why does the incredible technology of TiVo reach its zenith in pizza delivery? For them to even think about introducing this, there had to be market studies and tests to see if a horrible idea like this would work. The people at TiVo and Domino’s already knew that there were enough sloths with money that sit around on their asses watching TV so much that they can’t enough bear the thought of getting up off the sofa to get a meal? Not even to get a meal, but to pick up the phone to have a meal delivered to their front door? 

So this great nation is in a financial nose-dive…big whoop. It serves us right for resting on our laurels. Of course, once we finally end up being something like the number 2 -or even worse, number 3- economy in the world, we’ll self-destruct because we’re no longer the best at everything. Look at all the other countries that were fabulously in charge of the world and now aren’t: England, Spain, France, Germany. They’re doing just fine, minus the fact that we’re dragging them down with our sinking, stinking ship of fetid blubber and greed.

I love America, but hate Americans sometimes… is that possible?


One Response to “Domino’s Pizza From Your TiVo”

  1. Kristen said


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