chewing ideas down to stubble, then moving on…

Gum-chewers BEWARE!!!

Posted by Jason on December 4, 2008

I’m so cool that I can catch gum-chewers in my class without even looking at them. 

Today in the beginning of second period, I saw the tell-tale jaw movement in the wall mirror, but didn’t jump on it right away. I have class. I kept teaching. 

“And the reason that questioning is so important in an interview is that Lucy has to spit out her gum…” BAM! Didn’t miss a beat. The class was stunned and then everyone laughed as the girl sheepishly got up from her seat to spit her gum out.

“Shut up Allissa, you’re chewing gu…” she trailed off, not wanting to incriminate her friend. I took note but did not jump on this, either. I went about my business as usual. A couple minutes later, with my back to Allissa, I boom out, “Allissa! Gum! Trash!” Another one bites the dust…

That’s not difficult to do, but my students think I’m a freaking magician. But here’s where I actually impressed myself today:

Two boys were talking to Ericka (she sits next to Lucy and Allissa) and she had her back to me. They were off task so I ambled over there to see what they were doing. I smelled something minty, and decided to take a shot in the dark.

“Hmm it still smells like gum over here. That means Ericka should probably spit hers out, too.” The smile on her face betrayed that she was busted. I looked up at Christian, who was grinning ear to ear. I was going to tell him that I didn’t even know Ericka had gum, and then he quickly wiped the smile off of his face when he saw me looking at him. “That means you have gum, too, Christian.” He walks across the room to the trash can and leans over to spit his gum out. He starts walking back with that busted smile. “Spit it all out, dude…” He turned around and got rid of the last of his gum. Now only Daniel was left. “When are you gonna spit yours out, Danny?” 

“CRAP!” he exclaimed. “I thought I had you!” He stomped over to the trash and added a 5th piece of gum to the pile. 

I never saw any of the last 3 students with gum in their mouths, but I nailed em! Elementary, my dear Watson. You would think that as a teacher, my excitement comes from my students’ “Aha!” moments or from seeing underprivileged kids reading the subtitles out loud while watching an opera.

No: the high point of my day is nailing 3 kids for gum without even looking.


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